It’s been a long time since I’ve written in this blog. It’s been a long time since I’ve even thought about this blog. But in rediscovering it and my writings, I find that perhaps its time to resurrect it because I find myself in a similar place as when I started “Operation: Finish Line”.
My last post was about was about milestones. Things I had recently accomplished that deserved recognition. This post is about turning points. The turning points that I’ve experienced in the five years since last writing in this blog include some milestones, some accomplishments, some obstacles, good and bad decisions, and some heartbreak. And with all of this, here I am again, making big decisions to work on self-improvement, self-care, and self-confidence. As I said once before, putting it all out there holds you accountable–so here we go.
I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last five years. When I left my job at the gym, I learned that I have the courage to walk away from what’s comfortable and familiar. When I moved to California, I learned that what seems too good to be true, probably is. When I decided to pursue a degree in Library and Information Science, I finally found my true calling and I now know what I will do with the next significant part of my life. And when I recently experienced my first true heartbreak, I learned that I am capable of loving another person openly, honestly, and with my whole heart, despite having thought otherwise my entire life.
I have also learned that I do not take the proper care of myself that I deserve–physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The impetus for starting this blog was a weight-scare, when I was pushing 200 lbs and being more unhealthy than I had ever been in my life. I fixed a lot of that five years ago, but the habits that I created were circumstantial. Working in a health club, teaching classes, and training clients helped keep me on track. When I left all that, I left my habits too and it’s been taking its toll. Well, I’m fed up again. I’m now finding myself 20 lbs past my former breaking point and that’s after losing a quick 10 lbs post-breakup (turns out heartbreak is a great and totally unfortunate way to lose weight fast…). I think that big, emotional life events are often the incentive for change, and I suppose this is no different. When we go through something like heartbreak, we are forced to look at the deepest parts of ourselves. Emotionally, we are stripped naked and everything is exposed and raw. Rarely, we like what we see, and there are often two options: spiral further towards rock bottom, or make a big decision to change what we don’t like. These moments are the true turning points and this is mine.
And so, with the new iteration of this blog, the title “Operation: Finish Line” takes on a new meaning. In its original form, it was meant to represent my journey towards personal goals related to running and triathlon, and was primarily focused on fitness. The new “Operation: Finish Line” will have a fitness focus, but I’m hoping that it will also be a place for me to grow emotionally and maybe a little spiritually, and see if I can heal some of my wounds and reshape not just my body, but also the parts of my life that aren’t so focused.
To anyone who is reading–thanks for joining me. I think it will be a long journey, so buckle up.